Grief and gratitude

by Ruby Varghese

As the holidays approach, they often bring up feelings of grief and loss. Grief is an unexpected and unpredictable experience—you never know when or how it will show up. It can be triggered by a song, a scent, the taste of food, or a familiar place

Experiencing the loss of a loved one, a job, a home, or a cherished dream can leave us feeling lost, empty, disoriented, alone, and deeply vulnerable. In these moments, finding the strength to face the day, let alone practice gratitude, can seem impossible. What I am learning is how beautiful, and at times awkward, the dance between grief and gratitude can be, and watching the beautiful things that unfold within it.

When we allow gratitude to break through, it does not mean we deny the pain, loss, or grief. It is not about creating a facade that everything is great and to just push through. Gratitude is about acknowledging that good can still be present, even when it is hard to see. It’s about recognizing moments of light in the midst of sorrow. For me, these moments have included the generosity of friends over a meal or spontaneous visit, seeing a California sunset, the peaceful sound of rain, and especially remembering the small ways those who have passed have impacted my life.

After suddenly losing my dad this year, I have been reminded that grief and gratitude can co-exist. Growing up in a family where emotions were kept private and felt scary to express, truly allowing myself to grieve felt different. It was when I allowed room for grief that I also made room for gratitude. Gratitude helps us find healing and hope. It reconnects us to what matters, what we have in our lives, and the blessing of memories of what we had, even for a season.

The holidays can be filled with hustle, to-do lists, and events, but they can also be a time to slow down and notice what you have. Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” If you are feeling tired, burdened, and overwhelmed, come to Him for rest. May gratitude bring you a deep sense of peace, so that even in grief, we can find reasons this season to be thankful.

Grief is a journey we don’t have to face alone. Perhaps this season is an invitation to welcome gratitude into our lives so that healing, hope, peace, and beauty can radiate light in and through us.

Grief is not easy, but allowing gratitude to surface can make what we are going through more bearable. Try out some of these practices.

Thank God for Special Memories Express Gratitude for Loved Ones You Have Lost Write down 10 things You are Grateful for in a journal each day for a week Notice New Things: exploring what you have Pray/ Meditate